The Big Scary

Shaking my hands.
Scaring my resolve.
Frightening away Absolution.
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This will be a place i revisit often. im gonna make the titles (on the left) as useful to me as i can. If i can find a way... (Hey, just discovered the keywords, and how they work. i have found another tool. right on.) There is nothing i hate more than availability without purpose. Its such a waste. Like frilly pictures with no depth. Pointless. this is pretty much the way i feel about my art, or the lack thereof.
Dark looming block.
Bleeding dry my creativity; where there is no more the lift of the pen, the stroke of the brush, the movement of fingers over alphabet. nothingness becoming itself. Funny how something with such emptiness can become so enveloping. its a fucking sucking vacuum. not fun. Ever had one of these? And now i need a new thread about the artist/writer block. i also need more words. and more availability of them. i could read the dictionary. and how can i express my own laughing without chatrooming it up with something as pedestrain as `lol`. guess there isnt a way. oh well.
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So exhausting to go back over something numerous times to make sure its really ok.
Maybe good enough is good enough.
god. Dont be so afraid.
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You. human there. Apparently its important and normal for me to talk to myself when writing.
And apparently its necessary for me to tell you that.
No need to be alarmed.
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Ive been swinging between two constants:
That I must be here, and that I must..................... dammit, the words are gone again. I never got to the big reason of being here.
The Ultimate Truth. Around the time Honesty walked in...
Ill start a new post about it. i think it may deserve its own.
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Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
I missed The Riches again tonite! Aargh, aaack, and aaauuuggghhh!! Dammit. Thats like, the third week in a row. Stupid internet. grrr. Me not happy. And stupid showcase wont let me watch any episodes... rrrghh. Love the theme song. I hardly ever turn my tv on anymore, but i think thats my favorite show.